Little Do You Know
by misspensandscribbles
Summary: Set a month after the ending of Season 12 Episode 11 (Japril the Movie). Jackson finds out April is pregnant.
1. Chapter 1

The day after April signed the divorce papers and found out about her pregnancy, she went to work and acted as though the marriage she so desperately fought for hadn't ended. She worked as hard as she always did, if not harder. She performed well in all her surgeries. No tears were shed, no tempers were lost, and no breakdowns were had.

Everyone was impressed, except for three people, who saw that underneath her calm and peaceful demeanor was a pit of sadness. One was her ex-husband, who kept stealing worried glances in her direction whenever she wasn't looking. Another was Nathan Riggs, who was no stranger to this side of her. And the third was Arizona Robbins.

Arizona looked on helplessly as April's shoulders stiffened ever so slightly when Jackson entered the ER to treat a burn patient. She could tell right away that April was torn between wanting to break down and tell him about the baby, and trying to keep herself together in front of him.

An hour later, as they were eating lunch in the cafeteria, Arizona leaned in and asked her in a whisper.

"Are you going to tell him about the baby?"

"I... I'm not ready to tell him yet."

"April, he deserves to know."

"I know he deserves to know, which is why I'm going to tell him when I'm ready."

"And when will that be exactly? When you look like you're growing a giant watermelon in your belly?"

"Maybe, I don't know, okay?"

"You better know, April. What if he finds out and –"

April's eyes widen in fear. "Oh my God, Arizona, are you planning on telling him?"

"No! Of course not. I promised you I won't say anything and I won't. But that doesn't mean he can't find out about it through some other way. He's already seen you pregnant before, he's going to figure out you're pregnant again eventually."

"I know, I know. But I just... I want to keep it to myself first."

"Are you sure that's wise? April, how is he going to react it –"

"I know how he's going to react, Arizona. You don't need to tell me!" April hisses.

"Okay... okay. I'm sorry," Arizona soothes, patting her arm.

"It's just... if I tell him now, I know for a fact that he's going to want to be there all the time, at the doctor's appointments and the check-ups, and he's going to be all caring and concerned about me because of the baby, and I just... I won't be able to handle it, being so close to him like that, not after... it's already killing me just seeing him from across the hall. I just can't yet. I'm not ready."

"Okay, I understand."

* * *

"Ugh, I feel like my insides are like this one giant lava lamp, all squishy and... turny," she complains as she and Arizona make their way through the hospital lobby. "And don't even get me started on my mood swings."

"Oh, I won't. Trust me, I know all about your mood swings," Arizona quips.

And it's true. It's been a month since the night April told her about the pregnancy, and the two women have been spending most of their free time together. Every now and then, Arizona would ask her when she plans on telling Jackson about the baby, and the reaction she'd get is always the same – her expression turns reluctant and uneasy as she tells her she isn't ready yet.

"I know, I know. It's really bad. It wasn't this bad though when I was pregnant with..." she hesitates, and then she breathes. "When I was pregnant with Samuel."

Seeing Arizona look at her with sad eyes, April shakes her head, forcing the painful memory out of her system, and smiles. "Anyway, you have no right to complain because you've gone on, what, four dates already because of me? Admit it, I'm a better wingman than Webber."

"Yeah, okay fine, your divorced-and-pregnant sob story works like a charm... until your pregnant lady hormones start making you act like a crazy psycho person."

Both women laugh as they walk out the main doors and onto the parking lot, completely oblivious to the man only a couple of steps behind them who has just stopped dead in his tracks.

They're already in the parking lot, talking about the last time April accompanied Arizona to her usual lesbian bar, when they hear the doors behind them swing open accompanied by an accusing voice.

"You're pregnant?"

Jackson's voice freezes April in place, her feet unable to move as the situation sinks in.

Arizona is the first to speak. "Look, Jackson, before you get –"

"I wasn't talking to you," he snaps at her, before turning to April again. "Are you pregnant?"

She turns around and looks at him. And then slowly, she nods.

"I'll leave you two to talk," Arizona says. She turns to her friend beside her, squeezes her arm and tells her in a calming voice, "I'll call you later, okay?"

And then she turns to Jackson. "I know you're mad, but be kind," she says in a firm voice before walking away.

For a moment, he just stands here looking at her, his eyes wide and his hands clenched.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, April decides to break it. "Please say something."

And he finally does. "When were you planning on telling me?" he asks, his voice tight.

"I... I don't know," she answers honestly. "I'm sorry. I didn't want you finding out this way."

"You didn't want me finding out at all, did you?"

"What? No, Jackson. No," she asserts. "I just... I didn't know how to tell you."

"How about 'Hey, Jackson, I'm pregnant. I just thought you should know because you _deserve_ to know.' How about that?" he spits out.

"I just needed more time to –"

"To what? To figure out how to hide this from me? I deserve to know, April! I have every right to know! What, is this payback? Is this your way of getting back at me for –"

She slaps him on the face hard before he can finish his sentence.

"How dare you. How... how dare you," she says in a quiet rage. "You think this is how I want things to be? You think that all this time I was actually happy that you didn't know I'm carrying our child? Do you even know how excruciating it was to be in the position I was in? How freaking hard it was to sign those stupid papers when –" she stops abruptly when she realizes what she's saying.

But it's too late. She's already said too much, far too much that what she ever planned on telling him.

"How long have you known?" his voice is calm but seething.

She shifts uncomfortably. "Jackson, I –"

"How long, April?" he shouts, which causes April to flinch.

"That morning," she admits.

He lets out a pained breath. "And you didn't say anything? That whole time we were sitting right across from each other you had every chance to tell me and yet you chose not to? Are you that... I don't even have the words to –"

"You made that choice for me, Jackson! I asked you if a divorce is what you really wanted. I asked you, and you didn't say anything!" she says, her voice getting louder.

"What the hell does that have to do with this?"

"It has everything to do with his!" she yells, before covering her face with her hands. After taking deep breaths, she drops her arms to her side and in a timid voice, she tells him, "I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so badly."

"Then why didn't you, April? Why? Why would you keep something like this from me?"

"Because what then, Jackson?" she asks him, her eyes full of despair. "If I told you I was pregnant when your lawyer handed me those papers, what then? Would you have still let me sign them?"

Her question leaves him paralyzed. It's the same exact thought that's been pounding in his head the second she revealed when she discovered she was pregnant. Would he have pushed through with the divorce if he'd known? Would he have stayed silent as he watched her sign those papers?

"I don't know," he finally says, his voice unsure and vulnerable.

Her shoulders sag. " _That_ is why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to stay with me because you felt you needed to for the baby. I wanted... I wanted you to stay with me because you wanted to. But you didn't... you don't," she murmurs, her voice suddenly breaking. She stops and breathes again. And when she's sure she can speak again without breaking down, she continues. "If I told you I was pregnant then, you would've been forced to stay, and that's just... I didn't want to do that to you."

Her gaze falls downward as her hands fidgeted with the hem of her blouse. "And when you didn't say anything, I..." she pauses and looks up at him, "How could I tell you after signing those papers? I know you, Jackson. You would've wanted to be there for me and support me and care for me. You probably still want to do that now even though you hate me... But I can't be near you, Jackson, not when I still... I can't be near you yet."

They look at each other, their eyes filled with sorrow and longing, Jackson unable to say anything and April suddenly needing to say everything she's been keeping inside.

"So yes, Jackson, I am pregnant. And as much as you find this hard to believe right now, I really was going to tell you. I never even considered keeping this baby from you," she tells him. "But I just can't be around you right now, not without falling apart. So please, Jackson, I am begging you. _Please_ give me room to breathe."

She takes a few steps back and turns around.

"April," he calls out.

Sighing, she faces him again.

"You can't do this alone. I'm as much of a part of this as you are. We can figure this out together," he tells her almost pleadingly.

She bites her lip. "The moment we signed those papers, we stopped being 'together'. I know you don't want me to do this alone, but that's what I am, Jackson. I'm alone," she says softly. "Please believe me when I say that I want you to be a part of this whole process just as much as you do. Of course I want you be the amazing father I know you'll be to this baby. The last thing I want to do is to take that away from you... I just, I want to be ready first."

Confusion washes over his face. "Ready for what?"

"To have you in my life again without..." her voice drops to a whisper before continuing, "without actually having you."

Her words sober him up. "Alright, okay, I'm sorry," he says gently. "Are you okay?"

She lets out a small chuckle and looks at him with teary eyes. "No, Jackson. No, I'm not. But I can't talk to you about it, not anymore."

"Of course, you can. I'm still here if you need me, April. Just because... I'm still here for you," he says, taking a step forward.

He feels a sharp pang on his chest when April turns slightly to the side, crossing her arms over her chest like she feels threatened by him.

"You don't understand. What I mean is I don't _want_ to talk to you about it." She sighs as she rubs her forehead. "I'm not punishing you for making me sign those papers. I just... I want to keep myself at a safe distance from you for now... I'm trying to look after me this time."

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. To be honest, up until today, the past month hadn't felt much different to him. It was a lot like how things were between them after she returned from her second tour in Jordan. They would see each other only in the hospital – maybe in the ER or in the fleeting seconds when they'd pass each other in the halls, his eyes always on her and hers always on the floor. Their conversations would revolve around work and their patients. It was bearable, better than the constant fighting and arguing.

But now, hearing her say such things, he realizes that this is what getting a divorce really feels – him taking a step toward her, and her taking a step back. Belatedly, it occurs to him that he's the one who asked for this. He's the one who gave up his right to be the person she turns to in her time of need. He wants to argue with her, to tell her that her pregnancy changes things between them, but it sounds feeble even to his own ears.

At a loss for words, he merely says, "Okay."

She can see him struggle to hide the effect of her words from her. And for a moment, she considers taking it all back. She considers taking him up on his offer to see this through together.

But she stops herself before she falls in too deep. They've done this song and dance so many times before and every time, they ended up hurting each other more. So she forces the thought away and instead gives him a consolation.

"I'll let you know when the check-up will be, if you want to come along," she says. "And if you don't, that's fine too."

"I want to," he says almost immediately.

"Okay. Then I'll let you know," she smiles at him sadly.

And then she turns around and starts walking away from him, hiding the tears that are now falling down her face.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Someone from Tumblr requested me to write a story about Jackson finding out about April's pregnancy. I still haven't decided yet if I want to turn this into a multi-chapter story, so I'm leaving this "In Progress" for now. Hope you enjoy! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you alright, man? You've been a little off the whole morning," Ben tells Jackson as they're making their rounds before their lunch break.

Jackson, who's looking straight ahead, is too consumed with his thoughts to realize he's being talked to.

"Jackson," Ben says a little louder this time, successfully getting his friend's attention.

"Mmm?"

"Seriously, man, what is up with you? Looks like you've got a lot on your mind."

Scratching the back of his head, Jackson replies, "Oh, sorry. I just have a lot on my mind."

Ben shoots him an annoyed look. "I know. That's what I just said."

"Sorry, I just have... stuff. Patients, you know?" he says unconvincingly.

"Oh please. We've seen three patients now and in all three you looked like there's somewhere else you'd rather be," Ben tells him. "Does it have anything to do with April?"

"What? No," Jackson replies quickly, but then decides to take it back almost immediately. "Okay, fine, yes. But I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say anything about it."

Ben shrugs. "Alright, that's fair."

They continue walking, and as they do, Jackson finds himself gradually changing his mind. He really needs to talk to someone about this massive bombshell that just happened in his life. And the more he thinks about it, the more he figures that it's as much his right as hers to be able to share the news of _their_ child to whomever he wants.

* * *

From the moment April walked away from him last night up to the moment he finally drifted off to sleep, Jackson kept replaying their conversation over and over again in his head, and all throughout he kept swinging back and forth between varying emotions.

As he paced back and forth in his living room after he got home, he knew he should be happy. They're having a baby! And he wanted to be happy. He really did. But it felt like winning the Super Bowl and not knowing about it until everyone's already done celebrating, and now he had to celebrate all by himself. He felt stupid and cheated.

And then he felt anger – intense anger, the kind that can only be traced back to intense hurt and betrayal. He couldn't believe that April didn't tell him. He deliberately refused to figure out what angered him the most – that she didn't tell him about the baby before they signed the divorce papers or that she didn't tell him until he found out about it for himself. It was Jordan all over again. She left him completely in the dark and made the decision for something that clearly affected both of them. And that infuriated him.

But then he also couldn't take his mind off of what he clearly saw when she stood right in front of him. She was still hurting, and that hurt him. He tried to ease it, tried to offer comfort the only way he knew how, but she rejected it. The words she said to him brought him back to the time when he told her he was sleeping with Stephanie.

" _You know what I'm thinking about right now? Kissing you. Standing here, looking at you, and all I want to do is kiss you... So no, I'm... I'm not ready to be your friend yet."_

Seeing her struggle to get her words out without falling apart – that was what obliterated any trace of anger he was feeling.

But she wasn't standing there in front of him anymore. She was somewhere else, probably with Arizona and definitely with _their_ baby inside of her.

The day after the divorce, he knew she was putting up a front at work. He could always tell whenever she was being herself or not, and he knew the calm demeanor he saw was her way of trying not to be the talk of the hospital. But gradually, he saw that her smiles were becoming real, her laughter genuine. If he were honest with himself, he would admit that that was just as hard to see. He hadn't expected her to recover so quickly, especially when he had to steel himself every now and then.

Her unexpected happiness made sense to him now though. Her smiles and laughter were because of the life growing inside of her, the life he helped create but had no knowledge of until mere hours ago. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with the news. He wanted to be near the baby, but then April had made it pretty clear she preferred that he keep his distance. Because being near her would hurt her. And that brought a tidal wave of sadness over him.

That is, until the sadness gave way to anger again, repeating the cycle until his body gave in to sleep.

* * *

Jackson and Ben walk toward the nurse's station where Alex is skimming through his patient's chart.

"Hey," Alex says when he sees them. "Any of you see Robbins? I need her opinion on one of my cases."

"No," Ben answers first. "Why don't you ask April? Those two have been spending a lot of time together recently."

"That's because April's pregnant," Jackson suddenly blurts out. Seeing Ben's utterly shocked expression, he adds, "Yeah, that was my face too. I only found out last night, overheard her and Arizona talking about it."

"And? What did you do?" Ben asks, knowing full well what Jackson would do.

"I confronted her, of course. And..." he inhales before continuing, "And she told me she found out about the pregnancy the morning we signed the divorce papers."

"Oh wow. That's... that's like a month ago."

"I know!" Jackson says loudly as his fist pounds the counter. "I mean, she should've said something right? I wouldn't even know right now if I hadn't heard them. She probably didn't even want me to know at all."

"Dude, if she didn't want you to know, she would've up and left," Alex says all of a sudden.

It occurs to Jackson at that moment that, unlike Ben, Alex doesn't seem shocked at all.

Narrowing his eyes at him, Jackson says, "You knew." It wasn't a question. It was an accusation.

Alex puts his chart down and looks straight into Jackson's eyes. "Yeah, I did. But she didn't tell me. I just figured it out."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Look, man, it wasn't my secret to tell."

"You didn't think it was my secret to know?" Jackson counters.

Alex sighs exasperatedly. "Dude, you divorced her and impregnated her at the same time. That is as complicated as complicated gets, and there is literally no bro code for something like that. So if you have a problem with how us mere mortals handle the situation, by all means go make some freakin' guidelines."

"Okay, I will," Jackson shoots back, squaring his shoulders. "Rule number one: you tell the father of the baby no matter how _complicated_ the situation is!"

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," a voice from behind him says.

Jackson freezes. He doesn't need to look behind him to know who the voice belongs to.

"Rule number one: you tell the father of the baby no matter how complicated the situation is!" she hears Jackson say.

Without thinking, April opens her mouth. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

She can see Jackson's shoulders stiffen as she closes the gap between them and faces him. And when she does, she can see that Jackson is struggling to say something in reply. She doesn't give him a chance to though.

"I have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Lawrence on Friday, two o'clock, if you want to come along," she tells him in a steady voice, successfully hiding how much his words stung her.

"I'll be there," Jackson manages to sputter out.

"And I'm ten weeks pregnant. I just realized now I haven't told you how far along I am, and, you know, I don't want to break any more rules than I already have," she says casually before walking away from him all the while willing herself not to look back. She straightens her back and lifts her chin up a bit more as she walks, making sure that the people who are watching sees what she wants them to see.

She's already near the elevators when she hears footsteps running toward her. Thinking it's Jackson, she inhales deeply and prepares herself for another confrontation. She knows what she told him might have been too much, but she couldn't help herself. What Jackson said hurt her, so she felt like she had to pretend that it didn't.

"Hey, April!"

April eases up when she realizes it's actually Alex, although part of her feels disappointed. She turns to look at him and flashes a smile. "What's up?"

"Have you seen Robbins? I need another opinion on a case," he says.

"Yeah, she was in the ER earlier, treating a patient," she answers just as the elevator doors open.

"Okay, I'll come with you then."

As soon as the elevator doors have closed and it's just the two of them inside, April absentmindedly begins to play with her fingers. After a while, she notices Alex is staring at her.

"What?" she asks him, letting out a small chuckle.

He smirks. "I like the witty comeback you gave him. It was pretty ballsy of you. But you can drop the act now, Kepner."

She sighs. "I'm fine."

"Pfft, right," Alex says, clearly not convinced.

"It's just... after last night, I thought he wouldn't be so upset about it anymore."

"Seriously? You didn't tell him you're pregnant with his kid. The man's going to be pissed for a while, at least until the baby arrives. I told you to tell him before he finds out," he tells her frankly.

"I know, alright? I know," she says. "And I really was going to tell him."

"Really? When? When you're already in labor?" he teases.

"When the doctor tells me the baby's actually going to live this time!" she snaps.

It's the first time she's said it out loud. She has always focused on the joy of being pregnant, but underneath it lays a cloud of fear. She knows the odds of her baby having Type II Osteogenesis Imperfecta again are extremely slim. But she also knows the chances of her baby having some other fatal disease or complication are still very much present.

Whenever she's at work or preoccupied with something else, it's easy to forget that and just dwell on the happiness that the little life growing inside her belly is giving her. But every night, in the quiet, before she goes to sleep, she puts her hand on her stomach and prays. _Let this baby live,_ she tells God. _Please, please give this baby a chance._

Now, after she had just voiced out her deepest fear, she puts her hand over her stomach again and closes her eyes. "It wasn't just because I wasn't ready for him to know, okay? I also wanted to be sure that the baby's healthy first," she whispers.

The elevator doors roll open, and April steps out before Alex can say anything, not wanting to continue the conversation any further. It's no use though because Alex hurriedly walks after her.

"April."

She turns around and, in a hushed voice, says irritably, "Don't tell me everything's going to be fine, Alex, because you can't guarantee that!"

Alex just looks at her with a gentle expression. "I was just going to remind you that I'm here if you need anything. Just let me know."

That calms April down, and she inhales deeply before saying, "Arizona is in trauma room three."

He nods at her before heading to his fellow peds attending.


	3. Chapter 3

Holding the door knob, Jackson takes a deep breath before opening the door and entering. When he does, he sees April already sitting on the exam chair.

"Hey," he greets her, unsure of what her reaction will be.

Since their brief encounter in the hall two days ago, Jackson hadn't seen her until he walked in. He tried to catch her after their shift last night, but she'd already gone home. For a minute, he entertained the idea of calling her, but eventually decided against it, thinking it would be better to just wait and see.

She flashes him a smile that doesn't seem to reach her eyes. "Hi."

He shuffles his feet. "Uhm, listen. About what you heard the other day, I –"

April shakes her head. "It's okay. That was... I guess I deserved that for not telling you sooner. Although..." she trails off.

He raises his eyebrows at her. "Although what?"

 _Although I thought you understood already where I was coming from._

"Nothing, never mind," she says, smiling at him and basically letting him know that she isn't going to say anything more on the subject.

For a moment, they don't say anything to each other until Jackson decides to break the ice.

"So, uh, how are you feeling?" he asks her out of both courtesy and curiosity.

She shrugs. "Pretty good."

"I, uh, I heard you telling Arizona that the morning sickness is –"

"It's fine, really." Not wanting to cut him off but not wanting to relive the conversation they had that night more, she says in a gently voice, "It just happened to be bad that day, but it's not so much anymore now."

"Oh, that's good," he replies.

April nods her head as they realize they've run out of things to say to one another. She fidgets with her fingers as Jackson puts his hands in his coat pockets and looks intently at the clock hanging on the wall.

In the silence, they both wonder how they've come to this – this polite formality where they act like they've never been so hopelessly in love with each other. Even when they were fighting, there was always a connection there. No matter how many times they pushed each other away with their silence and pulled each other apart with their words, there was always a gravitational force between them, binding them together, sometimes against their will. Whether their relationship as blissfully amorous or miserably frustrating, their feelings for each other had always been overflowing.

But now, it's like the bond between them completely disappeared without a trace the moment they signed those papers. Now, not only do they treat each other like mere acquaintances, the passion they used to feel for one another has been replaced by an overwhelming sense of confusion and uncertainty. Getting divorced is one thing. _Being_ divorced, they realize, is a whole different ballgame – one they don't know how to play.

Before the silence gets too awkward and forces them to say something that will make the situation even more uncomfortable, the door opens and Dr. Lawrence walks in, much to their relief.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs..." Dr. Lawrence hesitates when she sees the embarrassed expressions of the two people in front of her and immediately checks the chart she's holding. "Uh, I mean Dr. Kepner and Dr...?"

"Avery," Jackson says, pointing to the name on his coat.

"Ah, yes. I'm Dr. Lawrence," the tall, brunette woman says as she extends her hand in greeting.

As April shakes the doctor's hand, the thought that she resembles Dr. Herman doesn't escape her. Before she can stop herself, her mind goes back to the time Dr. Herman was sitting in front of her and Jackson as she told them the fatal diagnosis of Samuel. As the memories pound her, she unknowingly, but also instinctively, reaches out her hand beside her in search of her ex-husband's touch.

Jackson, surprised and confused by her action, hesitates at first, but then decides to go with the sudden tug in his heart. Slowly, he takes his right hand out of his pocket. But before he can take her hand in his own, April suddenly realizes what she's done and immediately puts her hand down, casting an apologetic glance at him.

"Sorry. I just... sorry," she mumbles.

"So this is your first check-up, yes?" Dr. Lawrence asks cheerfully, feeling the awkward tension in the room and wanting to dispel of it right away.

April turns her attention to her. "My first official one, yes. I had a check-up two weeks ago, just to see how far along I was." She adds, "I'm ten weeks today."

"Oh good. Who'd you see?" Dr. Lawrence asks again while she prepares the machine.

"Dr. Robbins," April answers as she leans back on the chair and positions herself. "She's a friend."

Dr. Lawrence nods her head. "I've heard a lot of good things about her from Dr. Herman," she says as she starts her check-up. After a couple of minutes, she points to a small shadow on the screen. "There it is, your little human."

Jackson turns to look at April and he sees her smiling, which makes him smile as well.

"So do you have any questions for me? I've read from your file that this isn't your first pregnancy." Dr. Lawrence hints gently, not wanting to delve much deeper into that particular subject. She knows cases like those are difficult to move on from, and judging by the way the two surgeons in front of her have been acting, their experience definitely took a toll on them.

As soon as the doctor's words hit him, Jackson's gaze immediately shifts downward, not really knowing how to react. His thoughts wander to the first and last time he held Samuel in his hands. Up until that moment, he never thought it was possible to feel so much joy, love and pain all at the same time. Now, almost two years after losing him, he can still vividly feel it.

Jackson is brought back to the present when April's pager goes off, letting her know she's needed in the ER as soon as possible.

Straightening her back, she says, "I, uh, I have to go. I'm being paged to the ER."

Dr. Lawrence smiles reassuringly. "I understand completely. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to come to me, okay? In the meantime, take good care of yourself and avoid stress as much as possible. I will see you in four weeks."

April returns the smile appreciatively. "Yes, thank you," she says.

When Dr. Lawrence leaves the room, April stands up and gathers her things all the while trying to avoid Jackson's questioning gaze.

Knowing he isn't going to get anything from her without making the first move, Jackson clears his throat. "Maybe we should talk about... this."

Finally turning to face him, April says, "I know we should talk." When her pager goes off again, she lets out an exasperated sigh. "But I can't, not right now. I'm being paged to the ER."

"This is important, April," he says.

"I know, and we will talk about this. But –" her pager buzzing cuts her off before she continues, "Not right now."

And with that, she turns around and walks out of the room, leaving Jackson even more confused than before.

* * *

"So how's the bun in the oven?" Nathan asks April as they work on a car crash victim in one of the trauma rooms.

After Jackson spilled the beans to Ben yesterday, it took only an hour or two before word reached the entire hospital. Owen was the first to approach her, hugging her and congratulating her on her little miracle. He was followed by Nathan who, straightforward as he always is, made it known to her that he wasn't too happy about not being told about it sooner.

"So far so good," she tells him.

"Did Jackson show up?"

April hesitates. "Yeah, he was there," she says cautiously.

Nathan looks at her expectantly. When she doesn't offer any more details, he prods, "And?"

"And what?"

"Come on, Keps. Don't hold out on me."

"I'm not," she insists. "If there was something to tell, I'd tell, but there isn't. It was all very normal."

"Except for the fact that the two of you are divorced, are barely speaking to one another, and are having a baby together" he tells her. "Seriously, Keps, that's soap opera material right there."

April rolls her eyes. She loves Nathan like a brother she's never had. Working in the army together has brought so much unspoken trust and loyalty between them. But sometimes, Nathan says the last thing she needs to hear, and he annoys her – kind of like the way a brother she's never had would.

After making sure their patient is stable, they transfer him to the care of the nurses and leave the exam room together. As soon as they reach the nurse's station, Nathan looks at her with a serious expression.

"How about you, how are you holding up with all this... stuff?" he asks her.

She looks at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, this baby is a wonderful thing for you, and of course you're over the moon about it. But you're worried," he says matter-of-factly.

"What makes you think I'm worried?"

He lays a hand on her arm. "You're not April Kepner if you aren't overthinking or worrying about something you really shouldn't. You're not fooling me with your happy persona, okay? I know you. You're worried, and I know why. And I'm telling you, your baby will be fine."

"My baby _will_ be fine," she says, like that's what she's been saying the whole time.

"That's great," he tells her indifferently. "Try to actually believe it the next time you say it."

April narrows her eyes at him. "Riggs –"

Knowing that her calling him that means she's close to being seriously pissed at him, he raises his arms like he's surrendering. "I'm just saying."

At that moment, the ER doors slide open and two paramedics rush in with a victim who's bleeding profusely. April's about to head over to them when Nathan stopped her.

"You've been working non-stop the whole day, Keps. I'll take this one."

She snorts. "So, what, you think I'm weak now too?"

"I think you need to take better care of yourself because it's not just you anymore. There's a little Kepner in there who doesn't need you stressing yourself out too much," he tells her bluntly before making his way to the patient.

April pauses. Something Nathan said doesn't sound right to her. Not knowing what it is, she sighs and looks at one of the charts on the counter. Minutes later, she looks up just in time to see Jackson walk into the ER for a consult in one of the trauma beds. Watching him discreetly, she realizes what's bothering her.

 _Little Kepner._ That's what Nathan said. It doesn't sink in until that moment – the realization that her baby's last name wouldn't be Avery. It'll have his DNA, some of his physical characteristics – hopefully, his eyes – but not his name. And she has no idea how that makes her feel.

* * *

Jackson loved his son, he loved him more than life itself, even if he was only his for mere minutes before death took him away. But he hates thinking about him, remembering holding him in his hands just waiting for him to die.

As he lay in bed that night, his wide eyes staring into the ceiling, the possibility of going through that all over again with this pregnancy slowly consumes him until he feels like imploding and exploding at the same time. Tears of grief for the son he lost, as well as tears of anger for the injustice of it all, spring to his eyes as he breathes heavily. He bolts upward into a sitting position and places his head in his hands as he struggles to stifle the sobs that are threatening to escape him.

 _Never again_ , he says to himself before deciding that he and April are going to have their talk tomorrow no matter how damn busy the ER will be.


	4. Chapter 4

Making his way to the ER with a purpose, Jackson's heart pounds louder the closer he gets.

When he arrived at work earlier that morning, his resolve to talk to April about their baby began to falter. _It's too soon,_ he thought, _we're still trying to figure out where we stand with each other_. And he also felt that maybe she should be the one to broach the subject to him first, or he should wait until their next check-up with Dr. Lawrence. But then gradually, he changed his mind. He'd much rather talk to her about this too soon than too late. And as far as her initiating the conversation, he knew the chances of that happening were practically non-existent, especially considering the fact he didn't find out about the baby from her.

As soon as he reaches the pit, he scans the room for his ex-wife. Locking eyes with April, he's surprised when she starts making her way to him. And for a moment, he allows himself to dwell on the thought that maybe she's been thinking the same thing.

"Hey, I was just about to go find you," she tells him.

Now that she's standing directly in front of him, he can see how nervous she is. Her right hand plays with the pen she's holding, and her left keeps fidgeting with the hem of her coat.

"Perfect timing, I was actually looking for you too," he says.

"Oh? Why, what's up?"

"No, you go first."

She looks down at her feet before looking back up at him. "Uh, okay. Uhm, I'm flying to Moline for a few days. Chief gave me Monday off, so I leave tomorrow night and come back Tuesday evening. I though you should know since, you know, the baby and all. I, uh, I don't want you to think that I'm..." she hesitates before continuing. "It's just for the weekend."

Her news takes him by surprise. It's definitely not what he's expecting her to say. It also doesn't escape him that what she was close to saying was that she didn't want him to think that she was going to pull another Jordan again.

"Why?" Did something happen back home?" he asks her.

"No, nothing happened... yet," she says as she lets out a forced laugh. "I mean, I know I said I'm coming back in three days, but who knows? Maybe I won't because my parents might kill me with their disappointing eyes. Or maybe they'll butcher me along with the pigs and eat me for breakfast," she rambles.

Jackson furrows his brows in confusion. This is typical April, he thinks. Whenever she's about to say something she's uncomfortable saying, it takes awhile before she actually gets to her point. Reminding himself to be patient, he stands still, waiting for her to finish even though he's already itching for some answers.

Noticing his perplexed expression, she stops her rambling and clears her throat. "I, uh, I haven't actually told them about our... situation."

He tilts his head to the side. _Nice to know I'm not the last person on earth to find out,_ he thinks. "Oh, I see. Well, I'm not saying you shouldn't fly home, but wouldn't a phone call be easier and less, er, deadly? I mean, you didn't go home to tell them about the, uh... about the, uh..."

"Divorce?" she offers.

It's ironic that while Jackson's the one who pushed for the divorce, he's apparently also the one who can't say the damn word to her face. April, on the other hand, seems to have no trouble with it, saying it like it just rolls off the tongue.

"Yeah," he says finally.

"Well..." she mutters as she shifts her weight between her feet. "Funny story..."

His eyes widen in understanding. "You haven't told them."

Her shoulders visibly slump as she shakes her head. "I just... I couldn't tell them I got divorced _and_ pregnant on the same day. A phone call isn't going to cut it. If I did, they'd be here causing a scene the following day, probably with a shotgun and a butcher knife in hand, screaming for our heads. So I thought it would be better to tell them in person. And I figured, well, I should probably tell them before it gets too risky to fly."

Jackson nods his head. He knows just how traditional April's parents are, especially her mom, and he's certain they would lose their minds when they find out that not only is their daughter divorced, she's technically having a child out of wedlock too. And since he's the one who pushed for the divorce, well, he kind of feels responsible somewhat for what she's about to go through.

Before he can stop himself, he asks, "Do you want me to come with you? I mean, it's not going to be easy travelling on your own, and telling your parents might get pretty stressful. And you know Dr. Lawrence said stress isn't good for the baby, so uh... maybe it'll be better if we tell them together."

Even as he's saying it, he's fully aware of how stupid it all sounds. He regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth, but by then it was too late so he kept talking. Now, looking at April's unreadable expression, he mentally curses himself.

"You're telling me... that you want to come with me to Moline to tell my parents that we got a divorce and are expecting a child together?" she asks him with a confused face.

All of a sudden, before Jackson could answer her, April cracks a smile and laughs – real laughter this time. It takes him a moment but eventually he laughs with her too, not only because of the ridiculousness of what he just said, but mostly because he finds her laughter contagious. It's the first time in what he feels like forever that he's the reason for her laughter. Over the years, there's no one he shared more laughter with than her, and he realizes now just how much he misses it. For a moment, it feels like they're back to how they once were, and it makes him feel genuine happiness – something he hasn't felt since Samuel.

When the laughter dies down and the silence re-emerges, April tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "Thanks," she says sincerely. "But I don't think that's a good idea. This is something I should do alone."

 _Alone._ There's that word again. He hates hearing it, hates that it's how April sees herself now, hates that the word is directly a result of his decision. But then again, if they were being honest with themselves, they'd know that they've been alone long before the divorce.

" _Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it! None of this is helping. You are not helping. Neither of you. I am standing here listening to you tell me that God only gives me one choice, and you telling me that I should forego God's choice. And the truth is I don't know anything except that I am scared and sad, and I'm alone. You're both just standing there yelling at each other and talking at me, but I am alone, and it is terrifying and the louder you get, the more terrified I become. So I just need you both to just shut up! Can you... can you do that? Can you please, can you please both just shut up!"_

" _You don't know what I've been through this last year. This last year. What it was like... You don't know. You never asked, not once in fact. How was I doing? How was I coping? You didn't even ask."_

Jackson pushes the memories away and looks at his ex-wife. "You sure?"

"Yes. Thank you, though," she says, giving him a smile that has a trace of the warmth she used to give him.

Feeling encouraged, he stops her from walking away just yet and says, "Well I don't have any plans tomorrow night so I can drive you to the airport if you want."

She hesitates a second before saying, "Actually, Nathan's already taking me so..."

"It's cool," he says a bit too hurriedly. "I thought I'd ask just in case."

"Okay," she tells him, smiling again, although this time Jackson can't help but feel it's a pity smile. "Oh hey, what were you going to tell me?"

He pauses, knowing that the conversation he wants to have with her is probably the last thing she needs right now.

"I just wanted to ask if you have any cases for me," he lies. "It's been a slow day."

"Oh, no. It's been slow here too," she says. And then smiling at him, she adds, "It's a good day."

* * *

"So Kepner's pregnant," Callie tells him casually as they're scrubbing out of their surgery.

Jackson snorts. "God, I can always count on the people in this hospital to blab quicker than wildfire." After a second thought, he mutters, "Or did April tell you too?"

Callie arches a brow at him. "Actually, you told me."

"I didn't tell you anything."

"Oh, you kind of did. That little outburst you had a couple of days ago? You were basically shouting it from the rooftops. It's impossible for everyone not to know after that."

Jackson's lips tighten in embarrassment at the truth she spoke.

"So," Callie says, clapping her hands together, "How do we feel about this?"

"Confused," he mutters.

"Yeah, this one's a doozy I gotta say," she agrees.

"Yup, and I'm still spinning," he says, his hand rubbing his temples.

Putting her hand on her colleague's shoulder, she says gently, "But we're happy, right? I mean, you're having a baby. That's always a good thing."

Nodding his head, he answers with a smile, "Yeah, it is." Gradually, though, the smile is replaced with a frown. "But with April and the divorce... I have no idea how to deal, you know, how to act. I feel like I should be doing more than what I'm doing now, but she made it pretty clear she wanted space."

"You're not the only one confused here, Avery," she tells him sympathetically. "All you can do is be there for her. She needs you, even if she doesn't know it yet."

* * *

As Jackson pushes the ER doors open on Monday morning, the last thing he expects to see is his ex-wife working. She'd told him that she'd be back tomorrow evening, not today. But there she is, talking to one of the residents at the nurse's station.

After a moment of hesitation, his right foot steps in front of the other, making his way to his ex-wife all the while trying to quiet down the hammering in his chest. The closer he gets to her, the more questions begin to pop in his head. What happened in Moline? How did her parents take the news? Why did she not call him when she got back?

"Hey," he says, trying to sound nonchalant, unsure whether or not he's succeeded. "I thought you won't be back 'til tomorrow."

She flashes him a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Oh, there was a change of plans. Good thing too since the ER was swamped last night."

His eyes widen as her words sink in. "You mean you've been back since last night?"

"Uh, yeah. I was able to catch the last flight out of Moline."

He can't hide the slight frown that appeared on his face. "Was it that bad?" he asks softly.

April's smile falters briefly before she's able to pull it together again, chuckling lightly. "It's not like I expected otherwise, you know?"

Unconsciously, he takes a step closer. "April –"

Stepping back, April sputters, "It's okay. I'm okay. I'm just really happy to be back working again. Speaking of which, I have to check on a patient. So I'll, uh, see you around." Before he can respond, April turns around and heads to one of the trauma rooms.

Feeling a stab of pain in his chest at her retreat, Jackson can only watch as she walks away from him. Again.

"Well, she definitely doesn't know it yet," Jackson mutters to himself, thinking of his earlier conversation with Callie.

* * *

As April enters the attendings' lounge at the end of her shift, she can feel the delicate control that she has on her emotions cracking. To top off the disastrous confrontation she had with her parents back home, the ER has been flooded with trauma patients since the night before. The fact that she hasn't gotten a proper sleep since isn't helping any.

"You look like crap," Arizona tells her as soon as she sees her friend walk in.

"No need to point out what I already know, Arizona," she grumbles. "I honestly don't understand how some people get themselves in the mess they're in. Earlier, I had a patient come in with his thumb stuck in a bottle because he was trying to be the idiot counterpart of Wolverine!"

Arizona laughs out loud. It's hearing stories like this when she admits to herself that the ER might be more fun than the peds ward. Of course, she isn't going to say that out loud.

Opening her mouth to tell Arizona about another patient of hers, April's voice gets caught in her throat when she sees a box in her cubby. Picking it up, April reads the note attached to it. _Feel better,_ it says. She turns to the peds surgeon beside her. "Do you know who put this here?"

Eyeing it curiously, Arizona shakes her head. "Nope, I just got here a couple of minutes before you did. It doesn't say who it's from?"

"No," April answers with a pout.

With a sparkle in her eyes, Arizona can't help but show her growing excitement as she squeals, "Open it!"

Too focused on the box in her hands, April merely nods her head to let Arizona know she heard her as her fingers untie the ribbons wrapped around the small gift. As soon as she opens the box and sees what's inside, April smiles.

"Lemon bars?" Arizona asks.

"Looks like it," she answers as she takes a whiff of it. "Smells good."

Arizona gives her a knowing look. "You know who these are from huh?"

For once, April ignores her friend. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice tries to discourage her from being too happy about this. _The last time he did something nice, he followed it up by bringing up divorce,_ it tells her.

But April ignores that as well, her attention solely focused on the box of lemon bars she's holding. The last time she had one of these was when she was pregnant with Samuel. It was the only food she craved, and Jackson would always see to it that her craving was satisfied.

She isn't craving them now, hasn't been craving anything so far, but that Jackson went out of his way to make her feel nice, considering the brush off she gave him earlier, has made her start craving for something else – him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I'm so terribly sorry for the long update! I must confess, I got way too obsessed with Game of Thrones (this last season was UH-MAZING) that I kind of lost my mojo for Grey's. I'm back now though! Hopefully, the next chapter won't take as long. :)**

* * *

The next morning, April doesn't need to go looking around the hospital for Jackson. He comes to her when he's paged for a consult in the ER. As she waits for him to finish, she wrings her hands together, trying to identify what exactly it is she's feeling. Lost in her thoughts, she's startled when she hears her name being called.

"Keps, where'd you go last night? I was supposed to invite you to Joe's with me," Nathan says as soon as he nears her.

April shoots him a glare and points at her tummy. "Joe's? Seriously?"

"No! No, not to drink! Come on. I _am_ a doctor, you know," he counters.

"Then what? Eat peanuts?"

Nathan shrugs. "Darts! I was having an off night the last time. Pretty sure I can get back the 20 bucks you stole from me."

" _Won_ , Nathan," she corrects him with a smirk. "The 20 bucks I won."

"Yeah, well, that's still up for de–"

"Talk to you later," she cuts him off as soon as she sees Jackson leave his patient and makes her way toward him.

" – bate. Well, that was rude," he mutters, but then smiles when he sees who she left him for. When he met April, her marriage to Jackson had already been going downhill, but the stories she told him about them were more than enough to convince him that they had once been really happy together. Since he's started working in the hospital, that thought has only been reinforced. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that there's still some hope left for the former couple to find their way back to each other.

"Now, if only they can get their act together," Nathan thought to himself.

* * *

"Jackson."

He turns around upon hearing her voice, trying not to let his nerves show, and faces his ex-wife. "Hey, what's up?"

April answers, "I, uh, just want to thank you for the lemon bars. They were delicious. Did you get them from –"

"The bakery on 5th, yeah," he says knowingly.

"Good to know they're still as yummy as ever."

Jackson chuckles. "How'd you know they were from me?" he asks curiously, a smile tugging his lips.

She smiles back, confident and sure, and shrugs. "Who else could it be from?"

The warmth she radiates reaches him and he relaxes. "You finished the whole box already?" he teases.

"What? No, no," she responds in a hurry, but then pauses. "I mean, yeah. But I gave one to Nathan and Arizona."

"And the other ten pieces?" he asks with a raised brow.

"Hey, I'm eating for two now!" she argues, feigning insult.

Jackson laughs. "I'm kidding. I'd actually be surprised if you haven't finished it yet. I distinctly remember you going through two boxes a day. It was impressive, really."

She joins him in laughter, catching the attention of their co-workers who haven't seen them this friendly in ages.

When the laughter dies down and they're left with hopeful gazes toward each other, April finds herself wanting to keep this thing they have going a little bit longer. "I also remember you –" she adds, but she's cut short.

"Jackson, baby, come here and give your momma a kiss!" Catherine's booming voice breaks through their little bubble, catching Jackson off guard and effectively shattering the bubbling warmth April has already been feeling.

"Mom," Jackson says as he does what he's been told, giving his mom a peck on the cheek and a hug. "I didn't know you were coming to visit." Over his mom's shoulder, he meets April's eyes and he can tell right away how nervous she's feeling, and frankly, he can't blame her.

As soon as she's finished wrapping her son in a tight embrace, Catherine turns to the redhead in front of her, who seems to be shrinking more and more.

"Hi, Dr. Avery. How are you?"

Catherine merely raises an eyebrow at her in response. In a clipped tone, she tells her, "April. Excuse us please. I'd like to talk with my son."

"Yes, of course, Dr. Avery," she stutters before walking away.

Following her retreating form with a sympathetic gaze, Jackson sighs. "You could've said hello before sending her away, Mom."

"Honey, you should be grateful I didn't say anything else to her," she says, before looping her arms in his and walking them to a private room to talk.

* * *

"You're keeping busy," Nathan tells April as he approaches her by the OR board. After practically running away from her ex mother-in-law minutes ago, April went straight to the OR board and started signing up for as many surgeries as she could get.

"I am hiding. Catherine Avery is here apparently, looking none too happy with me," she says nervously.

"So you're stealing all our cases."

"I'm not stealing, I'm just... Look, in the ER, I am a sitting duck. But in an OR..." she gives him a knowing glance.

"Oh come on, she can't be that bad."

"No, she's worse than bad. She can be terrifying... like a hurricane. When she hits, you do not want to be in her wake."

"Well you can't avoid her forever, not when she's about to become hurricane granny," Nathan says with a smirk.

Sighing, April replies, "Maybe not. But I can avoid her for now. You ready? My first surgery is with you."

* * *

"What are you doing here, Mom?" Jackson asks with a hint of exasperation in his voice.

"You know why I'm here," Catherine answers, tilting her head just a little bit higher in defiance. "Why is it that Richard has to be the one to tell me you're expecting a child with your _ex-wife_?"

Rolling his eyes, he huffs, "Because I know this is exactly what would happen, Mom. You'd come barging in here and start meddling in something that clearly isn't your business."

"My grandchild _is_ my business," she asserts. "That baby is going to be an Avery, and –"

"Oh my God, Mom," Jackson sighs. "This baby isn't even in the world yet, and you're already thinking of shoving the kid into freaking board meetings. He's _our_ child – mine and April's. If there are decisions that need to be made, _we_ will be the ones making them. Not you."

Catherine crosses her arms on her chest, not bothering to hide her displeasure at being talked to like that. "And what makes you so sure that April will include you in the decision-making?"

Jackson's eyes widen as he realizes the implication of his mother's question. "How can you –"

"She signed those divorce papers knowing she was pregnant," Catherine cuts him off. "Tell me, Jackson, how long before she told you about the baby?"

"She..." he trails off, not knowing how or even if he should tell her that April never actually told him, that he found out about it accidentally.

As if she can clearly see what's going on in his son's head, Catherine narrows her eyes at him and says confidently, "She never told you, did she?"

"Look, Mom –"

"Why are you still defending her?" she scolds. "She deliberately kept this pregnancy from you, and who knows if she ever planned on telling you about it! Do you seriously think that after all that she's going to start playing fair?"

"Play fair?" Jackson asks in shocked disbelief. "This isn't a game!"

"You're right. This isn't a game. This is a life – _your child's life_. So you better stop with these illusions that you and April are going to be one happy family once this baby is born. May I remind you that she left you... twice! You two are divorced! Have you ever considered who will get custody? Who will have a say in making medical decisions? Whose last name will the child have?" Catherine spits out, all self-restraint completely gone.

"I haven't... we haven't discussed –"

"Well, what _have_ you discussed then aside from the little jokes you whisper to each other during work hours?" she taunts.

He lets out a defeated sigh, knowing that no matter how much he hates the words coming out of his mother's mouth, they still make sense, possibly more than he cares to admit. "I appreciate your concern, but I got this," he says through gritted teeth. "April and I haven't talked yet, but I can assure you that we will. She didn't have to ask me to join her for her check-up last week, but she did. If that isn't an olive branch, then..."

"You're the father of this baby. A branch isn't enough. You deserve the whole damn tree," she tells him. Gradually, the frustration in Catherine's face and voice melts away and motherly concern takes its place. "I'm only thinking of you, Jackson. I want what's best for my son and grandchild."

No matter how much time has passed, Catherine Avery will never forget the look on her son's face when she saw him in the ER with a gash on his arm. As soon as she asked him if April had called him on the anniversary of Samuel's death, she knew right away that her daughter-in-law had checked out on her son. From that point on, April Kepner has been on her list of people she wants far away from her son – the same list Jackson's father is on.

Letting out a deep breath, Jackson puts both his hands on his mother's shoulders in a gesture of peace. "Thank you for thinking of me, Mom. But I will handle this, okay? I promise I will talk to April." His pager suddenly rings, and he checks it. "After this next surgery."

"You better," she says seriously.

* * *

As soon as her surgery with Nathan finished up, April went straight to the attendings' lounge. Catherine wouldn't be there, she thought. And true enough, she thought correctly. She just didn't account for the very likely possibility that Catherine would come for her there. Now, as she's seated on the couch with her eyes closed, a voice speaks up from the doorway, and April freezes.

"When I was pregnant with Jackson, a three-hour surgery felt like twelve."

As her former mother-in-law walks in, April mentally curses herself for thinking Catherine would let her off the hook so easily.

"Hi, Catherine," April says nervously as she stands up. "I actually don't really have much time 'cause I have another surgery really soon."

"Oh baby, please sit back down. Come on, I know you're tired. It's okay," Catherine tells her soothingly. "Come on."

And just like that, April lets out a sigh of defeat. She never really could say no to her, and Catherine knows this. The latter continues on talking, not giving the younger woman the chance to say no.

"Some days my feet were so swollen I was physically unable to even take my sneakers off. A few times I slept in the damn things." Catherine chuckles.

"I... I guess you talked to Jackson."

"Oh, let's not talk about him," Catherine replies as she takes a seat on the couch next to hers. "I want to know about you. How many weeks is it now?"

She hesitates. No matter how pleasant the two women were to each other in the past, April has never been able to read the older woman. What's worse is knowing the latter can read her quite clearly. "I..."

"It's okay. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I understand. I'll go." Catherine stands up to leave.

All of a sudden, April feels guilty for shutting her off. She is the grandmother of this child after all. She and Jackson are already back in good terms. The last thing she needs is to have a rift between her and his mother.

"Thirteen," she finally offers. "Um, coming up on thirteen."

"Morning sickness?"

"Yeah, but only for a while," April answers. "It's mostly gone now. I've been really lucky."

"You are lucky. I couldn't stop being sick. I thought I was coming down with the stomach flu or something. It took a whole week for me to realize I was having a baby. It was a shock."

"Yes, it's definitely startling." She begins to let her guard down, feeling more at ease with Catherine. "Yeah, the morning that the test turned positive I couldn't believe I had to turn around and keep it together that day."

Catherine nods her head. "I bet."

April finds herself opening up to her more. "I was already... so emotional. But I was not going to cry in that lawyer's office. So..."

"Oh honey," Catherine says gently. "You mean you found out the same day you signed the divorce papers?"

She gives her ex mother-in-law a sad smile. "It was a rough day. I just sat there listening to those lawyers, but all I could think about was how I just... I just, I needed time to, like, think... process."

Catherine leans forward and pats her leg. "I would've done the exact same thing."

Hearing those words from Jackson's mother, April breathes a huge sigh of relief. She realizes now just how badly she needed this – this assurance from someone that what she did was understandable. April holds Catherine's hand and squeezes it in gratitude, as well as apology for ever thinking ill of her.


End file.
